​

ON THE FIELD

---

YOU CAN CALL IT A COMEBACK

BY: BILL CHASTAIN, IM 79  
PHOTOS: KAYLINN GILSTRAP

When HBO’s Hard Knocks series chronicled the Raiders’ 2019 training camp, Waller opened up during the five-part series, telling a story about his past struggles with addiction that resonated with the show’s viewers.

“People would message me,” Waller says. “They would say, ‘I’m one day clean because of you’ or ‘My son decided to get clean because he saw your piece on Hard Knocks.’ That’s when I started to realize that sharing this story was bigger than me.”

Going to War with Himself

But for Waller to get to where he is today took crawling out of rock bottom with the support of his league, his personal conviction, and his music. Creating music “absolutely” helped him deal with his post-addiction life, he says. It filled a gap left behind by drugs. Waller has produced two music albums, Better Call Wall (2017) and Wall Street(2019), under the name “D.Wall.” Appropriate since jazz legend D Fats Waller, who died in 1943, is his great-grandfather. Lyrics from “Made Of” (off the Better Call Wall album) represent a sample of the introspection he’s gained from his journey. “If I didn’t go to war with myself, I never would have seen what I’m made of.”

Indeed, he is battle-tested. Nobody sets out to become an addict. Waller, who was athletic and sensitive as a kid, certainly didn’t appear predestined to such a future. But like many kids, he longed for acceptance and struggled with low self-esteem. “People made fun of me because I spoke properly, or that I was into doing my homework, or getting good grades.” So Waller turned to football. He thought, everybody loves football players, right? Only he didn’t do well at first and it rocked his confidence even more. He was 15 years old and thought nothing was going well for him. “That’s not a good place to be. Then somebody puts drugs in front of you.” Years of addiction followed. The medicine cabinets of family and friends became avenues to highs. If those came up empty, there were always other places. “I was hiding everything. Then hiding became a game in its own right—a sick game. And I liked the game.”

Despite battling addiction, Waller graduated from Georgia Tech in 2014 with a bachelor’s degree in management. In Tech’s 2014 Orange Bowl win over Mississippi State, he caught five passes for 114 yards and scored a touchdown. The Baltimore Ravens saw potential and drafted him in the sixth round of the 2015 NFL draft. But addiction continued to haunt him. The NFL twice suspended Waller for substance abuse. The latter of those suspensions cost him the entire 2017 season. Rock bottom arrived while he sat in a parked car outside a Baltimore grocery store. That day’s concoction of alcohol and pills had delivered an unfamiliar high—one that frightened him enough to say, “That was enough.”

The NFL directed him to an Atlanta-based addiction specialist, who recommended treatment. Waller entered a four-day detox center in Boston, followed by a 30-day stint at Borden Cottage’s rehab center in Maine, an NFL-funded facility. He’s been clean ever since and regularly attends Narcotics Anonymous meetings.

While serving his suspension, he got a job stocking shelves at a Sprouts Farmers Market in Smyrna, Ga. “I tried to make the shelves look the best they could,” he says. “I always smiled and welcomed people who came in. I learned to take pride in whatever I’m doing, wherever I’m at.”

Sprouts’ Assistant Store Manager Diana Coelho remembers Waller’s time at the store as a humbling experience for him. “I’m sure he learned a lot from it. I knew that he had some struggles early on in his career. It was good to see him grow and realize that he didn’t want to screw [up his future]. He wanted to do well, and he did. I am very proud of him.”

Sixth months prior to his reinstatement date, he found that place. He began training hard and “fell in love with the work.” That told him he could enjoy football and motivated him to return to the NFL.

The NFL reinstated him in August of 2018. The Ravens waived him on Sept. 1, 2018, then added him to their practice squad the following day. Two months later, the Raiders signed Waller off the Ravens’ practice squad and he played in four games, setting the tone for his stellar 2019 season.

Waller had to adjust from wide receiver to tight end in the NFL. Yes, he played in Paul Johnson’s triple-option offense while at Tech, so he blocked more than the average college wide receiver. Still, playing tight end in the NFL brought different challenges.

“As far as a wide receiver making a transition [to tight end], I probably had more of a foundation to build on than others,” Waller says. “But it was still rough. Get in there [during practice] and try to block guys like [Ravens teammates] Terrell Suggs, and Za’Darius Smith. I was getting my [butt] kicked. The blocking was definitely tough. And I’m still a work in progress, but I’ve come a long way.”

His speed and strength have turned him into a force on the gridiron. “He’s a total mismatch,” says NFL insider Pat Yasinskas. Adds Gutierrez: “He can fly, and he’s a physical specimen. He’s able to block and he’s not afraid to get his nose dirty and throw himself in there. So he fits in perfectly to what [Raiders coach] Jon Gruden’s offense is because it is so reliant on the tight end.”

Waller’s talents have earned him a three-year contract worth $9 million a year.

Waller wants to continue sharing his story: the good, the bad, and the ugly haze of addiction. “The best thing I can do on this earth is impact people in a positive way. I feel like by me continuing on my mission, it helps other people continue on theirs. I don’t take that for granted, and I keep remembering that every day,” he says.